In the immortal words of Clueless...

Amber: Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.
Dionne: Well, there goes your social life...

A Mass. state appeals court today decided on a lawsuit filed by a woman who said that the injuries she suffered from a foul ball to the face in 1998 were the fault of the Red Sox organization. She claimed their failure inform her of the perils of sitting close to the field entitled her to $486,909 in lost wages and medical expenses. In rejecting her case, the judge cited an earlier court decision which states that, `the duty to warn does not extend to dangers that would be obvious to persons of average intelligence.' (court-talk for "You're an idiot") As a fanatic Sox fan, I need to start gearing up this page for some late-summer and autumn gut-wrenching ballpark drama stories, so I just wanted to get my first Sox entry out there in the win column for the team.

By far the best part of this saga is that the critical-injury offending ball wheezed off the bat of none other than limp-wristed Darren Lewis. 8 plates to reconstruct your schnoz because of this featherduster, lady? Maybe next time, you will stop yapping on your cell phone and waving to see if you're on TV and actually watch the game. Not that I'm bitter about you wasting good seats or anything.