screw healthcare: nationalize cell service!

I was a late convert, lasting well past graduation without a cellphone; I kept insisting I didn't need to be in-touch 24/7, and believing that land line existence was retro and therefore cool. Poppycock. Mobile phones are super, and I love having mine. I store every number I get ahold of, I play video poker on the can, I call on a whim from airplanes to see if interference actually causes crashes (it doesn't). My phone is my best inanimate friend, and as far as users go I don't think I'm so bad, either. It's a good relationship on the hardware end. So why, pray tell, the $h*@(*!ing *^$%!~# do the wizards-behind-the-curtain cell service companies all uniformly suck so much ass they're gagging on intestine? Is it that hard to get it right? The front line of this 3 ring circus, the wireless store, is an establishment with an atmosphere of legitimacy on par with that of snakeoil vendors and sideshow purveyors. I walked into the Verizon store at lunch today, a long-standing customer with a few quick questions about keeping my plan intact but purchasing a new phone. The sales rep., pen extended, acted like I just got off a boat from Mars when I told him I didn't think I was going to sign a 2 year plan with him that very moment. A few hours later, on the phone with a customer support rep., I swear to God I was not in fact speaking with a human being but some sort of snazzed up Speak-and-Spell. Hearing a woman say "I'm sorry I couldn't be of assistance, is there anything else I can help you with today?" 3 times consecutively in the exact same tone as if she didn't remember that she also didn't help 10 seconds earlier was almost enough to make me stab my broken-off antenna in my ear and try and end it.