Cape Cahd

Spent the weekend at the old roommate's hippy home in Orleans, marvelling at the wit of his father for putting the vanity plate "ONCA" on his new V8 beast of a Jaguar. (Do you get it? No? Shame. Answer is here.) This is replacing the Acura Legend with almost 300,000 miles, whose passenger door didn't work requiring me to enter ala Luke Duke in the General Lee. We took a Saturday afternoon run up to Provincetown, which was about as much fun as it could be for two straight guys by themselves. We gave up on the people-watching, chowder and booze-ice cream when the rain set in. Sitting on the beach the next day under a cloudless sky with a Rolling Rock, I figured out watching the girl next to me why Michelob Ultra has fewer calories and carbs than other beers-- they're served in 10 oz. cans! This is a rip-off of humungous proportions; and I just wish I worked for their marketing team. Hot girl chases me around a track, across a swimming pool and up some stadium steps, then buys me a midget beer when she catches me? Like Sam Jennings at Columbia's Fed, I'm sold.