No, it wasn't a dream.

My parents are coming out of their initial shock of what happened, and took the time to rightly confirm for me on the phone last night that my sister's two brothers are, in fact, incredibly incapable idiots. That's a lot of I's to sew on my clothes.

A grooved dent in my desk is forming nicely, but so far I'm still feeling pretty stupid. I wonder if I could read a book or something on how to be smarter.