Happy Eat-A-Turkey Day

I'm Thankful for stories.

-27 people at the table in my dining room. One table. Couldn't fit
said table (extended) in said dining room. Solution? Like Shaq said, "My offense is like the Pythagorean Theorem... there is no solution." Table goes diagonal across dining room.

-We had an English Vicar say grace. An honest-to-god, wait make that
God, travelling Vicar. He gave a stirring tribute of thanks and
blessing. After a moment, I followed him up with "we also give thanks for the Red Sox."

-My mom toasted "to the Vicar and his wife for their first Thanksgiving in America." My mother's best friend, an ex-pat Brit sitting down the table, says "Vic, it's their first Thanksgiving anywhere."

-My roommate's crazy sister was found to be locked in my bathroom.
But not for what you think- she might be anorexic, but she's not
bulemic. Regardless, she is certainly addled. My house has old
skeleton key locks. She locked the door. She couldn't figure out out to unlock it, and started calling for help. My very large brother got a stepladder and went out into the rain to help her out from the window. I warned him not to go too far in, or he'd get stuck like Winnie the Pooh and have to wait until spring. She ended up handing him the key, who re-entered the house and unlocked it from the outside.

-I think the only household member to put on more weight than me this
weekend was the used-to-be-45-lb.-dog. Blind as a post, she still
knows how to find where to sit. My roomate pointed out my dog always sits under him when he comes over. I pointed out that when he eats, there is a 1 meter radius around his mouth where the food might actually land. Darwin therories on animal survival at work, folks.